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Microsoft patents silencing a mobile phone by 'whacking it off'

Broken HTC

Just don't whack it too hard...

What a way to round off the working week with a humorous patent that has been filed by Microsoft. If implemented into Windows Phone, we'll be looking to "whack off" our phones should they start ringing. Depending on what the term "whack" means in the society you belong to, it usually involves utmost satisfaction followed by intense drowsiness, or crying children - but please attempt to stay with us without chuckling while we check out how Microsoft will allow us to whack our phones.

According to PatentBolt, Microsoft's filing states the following overview:

"There are a variety of circumstances under which it may be desirable to quickly control a device without having to interact with a traditional user interface. For example, often mobile device users forget to set their mobile devices in a silent or vibrate mode and the device rings or makes sounds at an inopportune moment." 

The technique described above could be used for controlling the audio signal of a device. Should a Windows Phone begin ringing in the library, one can quickly whack it while it's in the pocket to silence the ringtone. Much like in some handsets owners can flip the phone and rest it on its screen for the ringer to fall silent.

Phone Whacking

PatentBolt goes on to explain that should an audio signal be produced, a whack based audio module (110) inside the mobile device could receive acceleration data from the accelerometer (120). That data would indicate the acceleration of the device and would pass data onto the whack based audio module, which would then -- through the inclusion of exemplar whack event data (130) -- calculate a correlation between the acceleration data and exemplar event data to detect a "whack".

Audio could then be controlled should a whacking event be determined. Pretty neat. In FIG. 3A we can see an illustration of the "whack" in action. This could involve a slap, tap, slick, smack, or other light strikes to register against exemplar data. Microsoft states in the filing that the types of audio signals that could be silenced by a whacking event could include a ringing, a ringtone, user-initiated audio, a tone, a played recording, and an alarm.

Would you like to be able to whack your phone? Let us know in the comments.

Source: PatentBolt, via: WMPU

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Comments

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pbroy says:

That's whack!
j/k... I actually like this idea. It gives me a reason to smack a girl on her booty if I hear a phone ringing.. ;)
"What you doing?!"
"Ohh, I was trying to turn your phone off"

Rich Edmonds says:

Now that is positive thinking!

Pluckcharm says:

Haha +1000, I'd love to tap my girls future WP on her butt

Chauvinist ásshole

Well-played, sir!

Bee Mon says:

She'll smack your face.
"What did you do that for?!"
"Ohh, I was trying to turn your brain on."

FazleyCaddy says:

whacking her butt with a troll face and she started screaming and whack your face instead.. HAHA

My wife actually keeps her phone in her back pocket too... But it's an Android. She needs the physical keyboard and didn't like the Quantum. I piqued her interest with that rumored Nokia qwerty slider... She's only used free apps so far and this one is her first smartphone, so I might be able to convince her to switch if they make it.

djctz says:

Great thinking

woodbane says:

ROFL, seriously?!

erwt says:

I chuckled.

pbroy says:

Imagine the people that don't understand how to whack off properly. Instead of whacking the phone off by hitting it, they caress it loving... o_O
"Whoa.. dude, why are you caressing that bulge in your pocket?"
 

1jaxstate1 says:

In a meeting and forgot to put your phone on silent, WACK, if it rings. I love the idea.

What. The. ****. LMAO!

Next feature will be jerking it off for "standby".

Z10YkakPES says:

No bro thats not for stand by, thats for charging LMAO

Now that's what I call wireless charging! #Kinect

MediaCastleX says:

I am totally wishing I could insert the totally inappropriate joke I'm thinking about right now... =P

hk26 says:

Why don't you go ahead and join the club. Lol

WPSteve says:

They couldn't use "tap" ? lol

sepatown says:

This is a patent filing, they had to use the more general term. If you read the article that includes tap, slap etc. That way if others try to copy, they would have exhausted all the possibilities.

schlubadub says:

I would've though "smack" was more generic than "whack"

jbrandonf says:

Agreed but MS has got a bunch of perves working there. Remember Ballmer describing sharing songs between Zunes years back? He said you 'squirt' a song...

fwaits says:

Tap seems a bit too light for it to work, maybe slap to silence would be more appropriate?  They could demo it on How I Met Your Mother during an episode with the Slap Bet theme involved!

cedarlog says:

lol the funniest Patent i ever seen
i hope i can whack my windows phone 8 XD

NarcoSleepy says:

Whack On!  Whack Off!  The Wacker!

Michaelkett says:

Brings new meaning to snooze button.

venom5150 says:

I like this feature. Phone in your pocket and it rings, all one would have to do is tap it "whack it" through your clothing, holster, to stop the ringing. No need to reach for a button to silence. Nice. No matter how you say it, whack is one of the words that has a funny effect. Kind of like what I am doing not and sitting "Erect". (I have good posture) :p

1Rahtid says:

I'm thinking that trying to whack a Lumina 920 in one's pocket to silence it could conceivably cause an inadvertent hang up or answering of the call due to the Lumina's super sensitive screen. If you whack the phone through your clothing in the area of the answer button, I could see th Lumina reading that contact through the clothing and interpreting it as a tap on the answer button. Does anyone else see a potential problem with this, or am I missing something in my understanding of how this would work?

aubreyq says:

I'm sure they've thought of all that. It appears it relies heavily on the accelerometer.

schlubadub says:

Well no... As the lock screen is still active

jbrandonf says:

If the screen is inactive and you receive a call I believe you mist slide it up to receive the call not press answer, which is much harder to do in a pocket than press an onscreen button.

eyesoreM says:

I'm sure they use the Proximity sensor to sense the phone is in a pocket when it rings & keep the screen off until its taken out.

cedarlog says:

i hope they are going to add it to windows phone 8

SocalBrian says:

If they add whack off then they should bring back squirting also.
 
    "Windows Phone, the only phone with whack off and squirt."
 
Of course teen boys everwhere will claim prior art...

davisorle says:

This is actually do useful to me. So many times they manage to annoy me with a phone call and just wish it would shut it without retreaving it from my pocket =D silly yet useful patent lol

I have always dream of being able to do this, I'm happy Microsoft will being it to Windows Phone OS.

lippidp says:

I think Apple fans were all whacking last night at midnight.

Mark my words "Microsoft is coming out with a phone " maybe I don't really know

Quin 2013 says:

I read "Whack my words"

gregoron says:

Yes, that phone will be called the iWhack. Wait, Apple will get pissed at that. They should call it uWhack.

alukard says:

Must be something wrong with me I'm not laughing or even sniggering.

Good idea though, just a nice evolution of phone sensor tech.

Rich Edmonds says:

Awh, not everyone will find it funny ;-)

schlubadub says:

You're right... It's no laughing matter. You might even have to lube your phone if you need to whack it all day long! Just think of all the chafing otherwise!!

selfcreation says:

Lmao! Classic .. BUT we are gona start seeing pissed off people with broken phones NOT covered buy warranty! Like suing McDonald cause they Coffey was to hot... I guess what im trying to say is, there is to many stupid people for such technologies.

Quin 2013 says:

*their coffee

schlubadub says:

*their underpants

Welcome to you new Nokia Lumia 920 with Windows Phone 8. These following instructions will teach you how to whack off.

captaincomps says:

Excellent idea and very intuitive and practical!

Wacft says:

If they do this right it seems like a great idea.

t-bill says:

If you're worried about damaging the screen, could you just jerk it?

Quin 2013 says:

Some apps require u to shake he phone a jerking motion :D

U from whacka mo street

wpguy says:

I wonder how many people spank their phones. Isn't the number estimated to be over 90%?

Selfie13 says:

My god, once I started giggling at beginning, had a tough time trying to finish the article. This will go on Facebook

soikka says:

Musthave app... I would easily pay few bucks for it !!! And if the snooze thing works also , few bucks more... Wpftw \•/

gregoron says:

Next, Microsoft to sponsor a Whackathon to release the phone.

wormy6 says:

I need this... It happens fairly often with my android phone.  It goes off at bad time, I quickly try to find any buttons around its edges to push so it will shut up, and then while it is still in my pocket I pop the back off and remove the battery.  I am a grad student and it would be incredibly bad for me to take the phone out in front of a patient or staff doctor while in clinic and even worse to take it out during an exam...  I don't know how people with phones that don't have the battery come out do it!!!  Maybe they know how to get their phone to shut up perminantly...  Mine keeps turning its sound back on.

krapanss says:

Does anyone remember Nokia old phone Nokia 6600 fold. It already had something similar in it. I was selling thoes phones and if i do remember corectly if someone was calling you and you double tap it rejected call. And same thing was about alarm, By tapping on phone it turned alarm off.

krapanss says:

And there was more than just Nokia 6600 Fold. I just cant remember all of them :)

Crying children? My God... I don't think they thought that statement through very carefully...

jbrandonf says:

I disagree with even joking about this. It's not about being politically correct but more about showing respect, imagine if someone did this to your woman,or your sister. If it were me you get a. swiftly served broken jaw for your trouble.

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Courtney S says:

This sounds like a great idea. Besides the humor involved, there are many situations where this would be an advantageous feature to have. Plus the look on people's faces when you silence your phone by slapping it would be hilarious!